Adoption Blog

Gotcha Day Story

After a long, emotional day on Monday (Gotcha Day), I sat down and wrote an email to our friends and family. I think writing the email was more benficial to me, then to those that received it. I needed to think this through. I needed to capture my thoughts. And I needed to put words to some of the most intense emotions I have ever felt.

Click on the read more link below to see the email.

Today, Naomi and I shared some of the most extreme feelings and emotions of our lives. Some good, some not so good. Some happy, some sad. Many thankful, always faithful.

We started out our day with an early morning meeting with our agency rep's Daphne and Ellen. They are sisters. They live in Changsha and work for our adoption agency CCAI. They have been with us every step of the way here in Changsha. This morning they helped us fill out some adoption paperwork, they showed us how to make a Changsha/Chinese bottle, and they prepared us for the event that was about to take place.

We then left with the 10 other families in our group and headed for the registration office to get our babies. When we got there it was an incredible site. There was an estimated 70 families getting babies this morning. Not all from our agency. Just 11 families with our group. As we walked up the stairs dozens of families were walking down with their babies. We walked into a small room with a round table in the middle. Daphne began to call out our names and had us line up in the order that we would receive our babies. Naomi and I were last.

Before we knew what was happening, they began to call out names and one by one they brought the babies in. I had our camcorder and I was recording everything. It didn't take long for Naomi and I to find ourselves next in line. One of the fathers that had already received his baby offered to take pictures and film us with our cameras. I had just handed him our cameras when they walked in with little Kaylee. Naomi walked right up, took her in her arms and began to hold her, talk to her, and play with her as if she had been her mother all along. Kaylee was immediately attached to Naomi. Not one tear. Not one cry. Just a content look. Kaylee and Naomi were a perfect match.

Well, Naomi finally noticed that I was there and she allowed me to hold Kaylee. Kaylee went right to me. Happy as can be.

We boarded the bus and began the 45 minute drive back to the hotel. Most of the other babies were well behaved and it appeared as though we had a great group of babies. Daphne and Ellen were very pleased.

In our room I fixed our first bottle. Kaylee drank it all w/out stopping.

After we got back to the hotel they told us that the orphanage director would be stopping by each room and that a doctor would also stop by and do check ups. The orphanage director came by and we had a chance to visit with her. Ellen had to translate but it was nice to be able to talk to her. A little while later Dr. Su stopped by. This is where our day took a frightening turn.

Anyone who adopts from China is told several times and in several different ways that the babies can be developmentally behind. You just accept this going in. And you know from reading hundreds of adoption stories that the babies catch up to the American children very fast.

Dr. Su was extremely concerned about Kaylee. Kaylee is not able to sit up. She won't stand if you hold her arms. Her legs are like noodles. We noticed this but just thought it was normal. Dr. Su wanted to check the other babies from our orphanage and she said she would be back in a while. When she returned, she told us that the other babies had similar problems but not as bad as Kaylees. Dr. Su did some more examining and then recommended a Cat Scan. She said it was possible that there could be a major problem. Daphne suggested that we get the Cat Scan today because tomorrow we have to sign the final paper work that would make Kaylee legally ours.

It's amazing how well Naomi and I know each other. We had never discussed this scenario. It just didn't occur to us. But when I looked at Naomi she just shook her head. Kaylee was the baby that we were intended to have. Period. It was exactly what I was thinking.

We told Daphne that the results of the Cat Scan would not change our plans to keep Kaylee. But we wanted to get the Cat Scan so we could prepare for the road ahead of us.

We packed up a diaper bag, made some formula, exchanged some more money, and jumped in a taxi with Daphne and Dr. Su. Six minutes later we were at the Hu Nan Children's Hospital. Daphne and Dr. Su took care of all the details. Then they told us that Kaylee has to be sound asleep for the Cat Scan. After trying to get her to go to sleep unsuccessfully, they gave her something to assist her. 30 minutes went by and she was still wide awake. Naomi and I were a nervous mess. All we could think about is getting an answer. We needed to know. And if Kaylee would not fall asleep, we had a problem. Finally, we gave her just a tad more of the medicine and Daphne was able to get her to sleep. We quickly found the doctor who would do the Cat Scan. We layed little Kaylee on this table that went into the big doughnut looking thing. They asked me to stay by her side during the procedure to make sure she didn't fall off the table. Naomi and Daphne walked out and this big metal door closed behind them. The doctor went into a control room and a metal door closed behind him. It was just Kaylee and I in this strange room with a giant doughnut. Pretty soon I heard the machine running. After a few minutes it was over. I picked up Kaylee and took her back to the hallway where Naomi and Daphne were waiting. The doctor came out a little while later and called Daphne over. Naomi and I were a mess. Did I mention that? How is it you get one of the greatest gifts in the world and then on the same day you get to experience the pains and sufferings that come with being a parent.

The smile on Daphne's face as she walked toward us gave us the answer we wanted to hear. Everything was perfect. I just broke down and cried. I guess I had an overdose of emotions running through me.

They said that Kaylee was just underdeveloped and that we would need to work with her helping her to sit up and to use her legs to stand while we hold her. No problem. We had planned on this anyway.

Did I mentioned what a perfect little baby Kalyee is? It's only been one day but I can't imagine having any other child.

When we got back to the hotel Kaylee was still sleeping so we put her in her crib. Then we ordered some Wonton Soup and Fried Rice. Room service delivered it shortly after we called. We sat on the floor and had some of the best Chinese food ever!

(thanks for letting me capture my thoughts...)

Posted by Mark at January 26, 2005 08:11 AM