Adoption Blog

NO, don't cut that beautiful hair. Let it grow long! We are currently in the process of adopting from China. Your daughter is absolutely gorgeous. Good luck with her. We should be getting our referrel in July. Sincerely, Ellen

Hi Ellen,

Congratulations on your adoption journey! That's awesome! I hope July comes quickly for you!

Regarding Kaylee's hair, we are not planning to cut it. I guess I just wanted some feedback from people and I was hoping to hear everyone say don't cut it. :-) And even if we did cut her hair, we would only cut the front bangs to keep it out of her eyes. But we really don't want to do that. I want it to grow long.

The truth is, I just wanted an excuse to post some new pictures of Kaylee... :-)

Her hair is beautiful. We were told that trimming it even grows faster. We just cut our daughter's hair today for the first time. Just a trim on the back to make it straight and the front now with a straight bangs. Mommy happened to have a hair appointment so she tagged along. We don't regret... she looks cute and she likes it too.

Beautiful little girl. Just some advice... when you do decide to cut her hair, take her to a professional. The sooner in age you do that, the easier it will be when she is older and you want to go in for a bang trim. A squirmming 4 year old off to preschool is not the time to try your first "real" haircut!

My husband and I are adopting from China. We are currently waiting on our I-171 form. I have enjoyed reading about your experiences and thank you for sharing with us. I'm hoping to set up a blog in the next few months to chronicle our adventure.

Hi! Love, love, love the new pictures of Kaylee! Our Chinese daughter came to us shaved BALD in March! So, from a mom whose Chinese daughter is FINALLY starting to grow hair...I beg you not to cut Kaylee's hair! Actually, now that our Sofia's hair is coming in, we've been pulling her bangs over to the side with a barette. We rejoiced when we could finally use barettes! LOL!

It has been interesting to follow your journey, as our Sofia is roughly the same age (born 4/5/04) and had came to us developmentally very much in the same state as your Kaylee came to you. Although Sofia is still quite a bit behind for her age, we are truly amazed at what love, nutrition, and stimulation has done for her!

Whatever your decision, your daughter is beautiful!

Rochelle in WI
DH Bob
DS Sawyer (4.5)
DS Tate (2 today!)
DD Sofia Elisabeth Ning (b. 4/5/04 a. 3/7/05 Datong SWI, Shanxi)

I always let my baby girls "grow their bangs out" from birth. They never ever have bangs and boy is it so much easier to maintain. Plus its cute :D

Our new China daughter wont have bangs either :D

Just push it to the side with various cute hairbows etc...

What a wonderfully sweet little girl! All congratulations to you!

I wonder if you would mind speaking to a question that I have about the phenomenon of Americans adopting overseas. Please don't think me rude or judging, I am just a bit perplexed by one thing, and that is the fact that there are a lot of African-American babies that can't get adopted; why do you think this is when there are clearly so many people who deeply yearn to have a child and clearly - seeing as how they've adopted non-white children - do not have racial prejudice?

Any ideas on why this is so?

Thanks, and all the best to you and your sweet little girl.

Oh, and my vote goes to *not* cutting her hair - way too cute!

I just ran into your blog today. Your daughter is beautiful. I am also a blogging adoptive parent. I think Kaylee's hair is gorgeous, if you want to get it out of her eyes I suggest you just trim the bangs ever so slightly.

Kaylee's hair is beautiful. I did think when looking at previous photos that she had a lot of hair :-) I can't wait for my little girl to get more hair on top so I can put it up in a pony tail. I think you should let it grow if you want her to have long hair.

She is gorgeous, and you both are so blessed!
-Michelle

Thanks Ellen!
Thanks Mary!
Thanks Traci!
Thanks Rochelle!
Thanks Sylvie!
Thanks Michelle!

Hi Aimee,

Thanks for the kind words.

Regarding your questions, I'm happy to explain our reasons for adopting from China. And I'll take a shot at answering the broader question of why so many Americans adopt from overseas. But I don't think I am qualified to address the question of why there are so many African-American babies that can't get adopted. Perhaps my answers to the first two questions will shed some light on that subject.

First our decision. My wife, Naomi, is hapa (Hawaiian word for half). She is half Caucasian and half Japanese. When we decided to adopt, she said she wanted to adopt an Asian child. I immediately agreed. It was as simple as that. So we began to do some research on adoption. We first looked domestically and soon discovered two things. One, the percentage of Asian babies adopted in the US was approximately 2% to 3%. And two, we personally found the adoption process in the US to be a loose and uncertain process with little control in our hands. It didn't take long for us to decide that domestic adoption was not for us. Naomi and I are Christians. We attempt to live our life by seeking out God's will for us in everything we do. And we felt God leading us to China.

As to why so many Americans adopt from overseas, I can only speculate. But here are my thoughts. As I mentioned, I am not very impressed with the adoption process in the US. I know it works well for some folks. And that's awesome! But I wasn't comfortable with it. China, on the other hand, has a very well organized process. If you qualify, and then follow all of the clearly defined steps, the end result is a secured match with little to no surprises along the way.

Combine the organized process with the staggering number of abandoned baby girls, and you will find the reason why so many American families are adopting from China. Most of the world knows about the problem in China with baby girls. And many people who are considering adoption truly want to help make a difference. When they realize that China has a well organized process, it makes the decision even easier.

It wouldn't be fair for me to compare China to the US w/out providing some insight into why China is more organized. The difference is that China has infants that have been abandoned and are now in orphanages. In the US, the adoption process starts while the birth mother is still pregnant. And the birth mother can easily create an uncertain variable in the process. This difference gives China an advantage when it comes to creating a process that can be repeated in a very efficient manner.

I hope that helps. I realize that every family has there own reason for why they choose to adopt from different countries. And our reasons may different from everyone elses.

Now, back to Kaylee's hair. I think we will wait before we make any decisions. I just can't seem to bring myself to cut it at the moment. But please continue to post comments about it if you have any thoughts or suggestions. :-)

Mark....you NEVER need excuses to post new pictures of Kailee girl! I check in almost daily, and always am thrilled to see something new on your blog...and if it is a picture, even better! As to the hair...nah, leave it! Shao had that much hair in her 4mo referral photo!!!
When she came to me, it was cut very short all around, EXCEPT for this 8-10 inch topknot! I had to keep it pulled up in a topknot, or it hung down past her chin! WIERD hairstyle, but even so, I LOVED it! Her hair is now down to the middle of her back...that after cutting off about 8-10 inches last summer!

And to Aimee's comment...I am too OLD, too POOR, and too SINGLE to adopt domestically, especially a baby. Okay, so maybe not...but probably. I was 45 when I sent in my paperwork. ALSO...no birth mom will EVER come knocking on my door, having changed her mind. ANOTHER reason...I DEFINITELY wanted a little girl, and as young as possible...China is the best place to fulfill those particular dreams. And I guess I just have a heart for China and its people. I have for many many years, long before I even dreamed of adopting.

Hope that helps a little! :) But honestly, if someone could guarantee me that no one would change their mind and want their baby back, I wouldn't care WHAT baby I was blessed with...babies are babies, and I love them!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

More pictures, Mark! :)

trim the bangs.

Aw, Kaylee is so adorable! I just love this child of your's and Naomi's. She is so beautiful! I love her smile and gorgeous eyes.
Well, maybe the bangs could be trimmed a little bit if they block her vision but she may get too scared. Maybe wait til she's older so she won't get too scared.

Maybe you can just gel her hair so it won't be going into her eyes. I was a Dippity Do kid for years. My mom always gave me the slicked, cool kid look with gel, barettes, ribbons, any and all hair ornaments. Then I was the Aqua Net hairspray kid when I was about 5. LOL :D

My niece hasn't had her first haircut yet and she turned 2 years old in March.

hmmm-I'm not much help after all.

Thanks for sharing these lovely pics. :)

That's so cute a babie! Don't cut off her hair. It makes her pretty.

You may want to braid her hair up to the head. Cool! In China, some parents keep their little children's hair in this way....

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!..dont cut the nice hair...WOW...for a lilttle girl...thats real nice hair!!!...ur lucky...some ppl...ther children dont even hav that much hair so u should b proud!!!!...wel i was kinda looking for hair cuts...im a teen...lol...but ahhh this came up...i coudnt jus leave without leaving a comment!!!...lol...shez cute....BLESS*...; )
hope she brings u luck!!!!..x

hi..im chinses.i've saw the pictures..i hope you will treat the chinses girl well..thank you very much by all chinses people..

no don't cut lool. she's a beautiful baby. when i was older i would like adopt a baby too. (excuse my english is very bad. I'm french ;)